Politics may be a taboo subject but, for parents, talking to your children and teens about elections and the local and federal government is important, says Bryant Psychology professor Allison Butler, Ph.D.

“These challenging conversations are opportunities to build a bond and trust between kids, teens, and their parents,” says Butler, whose expertise lies in applied developmental and educational psychology. “For older children, these conversations allow parents to model values-driven decision-making and critical thinking.”

With election season in full swing, children and teens are already exposed to election-related content — whether it’s through social media, television, or school. Navigating these conversations can be tricky, but Butler maps out how to approach complicated topics in developmentally appropriate ways for children, from ages three to 18.

Starting the conversation early

Creating tangible educational opportunities around what an election is, what it means to vote, and what a president is are fun ways to begin the conversation with your littlest learners.

“Starting with preschoolers and kindergarteners, you might have a vote in your house about what you’re going to serve for dinner on Friday, or maybe you got a new pet and you’re all going to vote on what your favorite name is,” Butler says, noting that parents can also use U.S. map placemats and puzzles to educate kids and chart how the election is going.

In some cases, kids may come to their parents with questions surrounding the election, so it’s important for grownups to be good listeners and let children take the lead.

“In developmental psychology, we often say that children only ask the questions that they're ready to hear the answers to. So, we might assume that we need to fill in a lot more detail, when in fact they tend to be curious to an extent that is appropriate for their cognitive developmental level,” Butler says.

Preschoolers are also at the age where they’re learning to take other people’s perspectives. When talking to your kids about others’ views, parents can create examples that assign emotion words to help youngsters learn to understand that everyone sees the world from a different vantage point. For instance, parents can say, ‘so-and-so feels worried about x’ or ‘so-and-so is excited about the fact that this candidate might do x.’

Children may develop election-related anxieties through interactions with peers and what they’re viewing on the news and social media. For preschool and younger-aged kids who are showing signs of anxiety, Butler says they're looking to caregivers for affirmation that everything is okay.

“Assure them that there are people who are working very hard to make the best decisions to take care of people, and it's wonderful that we live in a country where people can use their voice to support their views,” Butler says.

Deepening the discussion

As your kids get older, Butler recommends introducing topics such as what the Electoral College is, how popular vote works, and what democracy is. Parents may also choose to dive into the realm of misinformation and teach middle- and high school-aged youth about fact checking information and remembering that not everything they learn via social media, political advertisements, and from the candidates themselves is true.

Since teenagers can now think abstractly and hypothetically about political issues, they’re beginning to form their own opinions. It’s imperative, Butler says, that parents educate them on civil discourse and how to be respectful and empathetic while engaging with other people who have different viewpoints.

“Additionally, parents can talk to children about taking the time to look at the political messages on social media and encourage them to take the perspective of the person who wrote the post,” Butler says, noting that the goal is for them to understand how someone’s life experiences have informed their political opinions.

Butler notes that slightly older children or teens may become stressed if friends or peers are having conversations that make them feel that their political beliefs, or their family’s, are somehow bad or wrong.

“You can remind your kids that the country is very important to everyone, and we've had different life experiences that have led us to have different viewpoints,” Butler says. 
She suggests providing developmentally appropriate coping strategies and opportunities to disengage from conversations.

“They could say to their friend something like, ‘I know that this issue is really important to you and your family, but I see it a little bit differently, and it's okay that we don't have the same beliefs,’” Butler says.

This is also the time to model how values drive your decisions about candidates — demonstrating to kids that you’re reasoning about issues in complex ways. Butler notes that you should not assume your adolescent shares your political views.

“It’s a time where they’re developing their political identities among other identities, so giving them a safe space to practice articulating what they feel and to allow room for that to evolve over time is really useful,” Butler says.

Ultimately, parents should remember to listen more than talk, avoid imposing their beliefs on their child, remember not to criticize other people’s views, and steer away from dismissing their child’s concerns or questions.

“This conversation can help prepare you for other types of difficult conversations you might have with your children and teens moving forward,” Butler says.