When Pooja Lakshmin, MD, thinks about self-care, her mind doesn’t go to beauty products or massages. Instead, she reasons that self-care is a deeper, more sustainable process that involves making tough decisions that align with your values. Lakshmin — a psychiatrist and author of Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) — visited Bryant earlier this month to share advice on how educators can maintain their wellbeing in the workplace.
In addition to Lakshmin’s presentation, Bryant’s Lindsay Amper, Ph.D., who organized the event alongside the university’s Center for Teaching Excellence (CTE), shared that she will hold two follow up sessions this spring for faculty and staff. During these meetings, Amper — a Psychology lecturer and CTE faculty fellow — will cover the four guiding principles of Lakshmin’s book and have participants engage in experiential exercises to help them develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their values, so they can create a pathway toward self-care.
“I decided to bring Dr. Lakshmin to campus because I often hear my colleagues talking about taking better care of themselves once the semester ends. The demands of our careers should not interfere with our health and wellness,” said Amper. “Learning how to take care of ourselves consistently makes us better teachers, mentors, partners, friends, and parents.”
Center for Teaching Excellence Director Terri Hasseler, Ph.D., noted that the event was an important moment of community reflection on the expanding responsibilities of faculty due to the changing landscape of education.
“Dr. Lakshmin’s observations on setting boundaries and making space for meaningful self-care were very helpful to that process of reflection,” said Hasseler.
Here are seven takeaways from Lakshmin’s presentation:
1. Understand the difference between faux self-care and real self-care: Burnout, stress, and work pressures can negatively impact your wellbeing. While commodified wellness tells people to look externally for self-care, these measures result in temporary solutions. Real self-care involves setting boundaries, having compassion for yourself, determining your values, and acting with agency.
2. Before you commit, take some time: If someone asks you to do something, you may feel obligated to say yes. To mitigate burnout and set boundaries, take some time to consider your options before making a decision. According to Lakshmin, you can either say yes, no, or negotiate. In some cases, someone may ask you something in passing. Instead of committing on the spot, say, ‘Let me check my calendar and get back to you,’ and then decide how you’d like to proceed. The same goes for answering your phone. Let incoming calls go to voicemail, consider the request and your capacity, and go from there.
3. Let thoughts of guilt pass: When you say no to something, you may feel guilty or selfish. Guilt is not your moral compass, said Lakshmin. Instead of drowning in negative thoughts and feelings, be curious about them but don’t believe that they are the be-all and end-all. Ask yourself, ‘What does this thought or feeling get me?’ and let it pass.
4. Do more things that give you a sense of accomplishment: To make decisions that align with what you truly want, take stock of the items on your calendar. Ask yourself, ‘What fills me up, what is negotiable, and what is not negotiable.’ Focusing on how you spend your time can help you decide what you may want to give up. Consider what activities offer a sense of accomplishment and identify things that fill you with dread.
5. Remember to accept help: Constantly refusing help can lead to isolation and a lack of community. If someone is offering to assist you, then let them. In some instances where you need to say no so as to not overburden yourself, saying yes to assistance is a muscle you must also learn to work.
6. It’s not your job to fix everyone: Your goal as a working professional is to build a sustaining career that lasts decades. To develop a lifestyle and career that is flexible enough so you can keep giving and working with people, you need to remember that it is not your job to fix everyone and carry everything; doing this will only cause you to burn out.
7. Be careful who you get advice from: If you are looking for advice on something, make sure the guidance comes from a reliable person. If someone doesn’t have the skills themselves, then they can't be the ones to give those skills to you.
