The Instagram Reel starts with Abby Thomason’s two daughters sitting in the backseat of the car. The eldest, age six, asks her three-year-old sister if she would like to come to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding. Her sister says ‘yes’ and their mom, who works as an early childhood play therapist, explains that they won’t be on the guest list. One of the youngsters then asks if other members of their family will be invited. When her mom responds, “No, nobody we know knows them,” her daughter replies, “Everybody knows Taylor Swift.” Thomason goes on to inform them that Swift doesn’t know everyone, and — for her kids — it only feels like they know her.
This sweet but telling exchange highlights a deeper psychological phenomenon known as parasocial relationships — a one-sided relationship that someone has formed with a person they don’t really know (usually a celebrity or social media personality) who they have a strong sense of connection to.
“On one person's side, it is a meaningful relationship, but on the other person's side, they don't know who that individual is,” says Assistant Psychology Professor Melanie Maimon, Ph.D., whose expertise is in social psychology.
According to a study from Thriveworks, 51 percent of Americans have likely been in parasocial relationships, but only 16 percent admit it. Maimon explains that the rising prominence of media has increased the prevalence of parasocial relationships, and that social media in particular has exacerbated parasocial bonds’ strength and relevance.
“Social media gives people more access to celebrities,” Maimon says. “Now, we can easily pull our phones out of our pockets and stay updated on them. It makes people feel this closeness that they wouldn't have otherwise.”
A positive impact on self-esteem
This constant access doesn’t just keep fans informed; it deepens their emotional connection. That bond was on full display when Swift and Kelce announced their engagement, which subsequently broke an Instagram record, according to The Hollywood Reporter, after surpassing one million reposts on the social media platform; the couple achieved this record in just six hours following their announcement. Many Swifties took to commenting online following the announcement. For instance, on Instagram’s taylorswiftstyled account (a space dedicated to the celebrity’s outfits, get-the-look options, and more), users’ engagement-related comments ranged from “I rang and messaged everyone I knew” to “Cried more for this engagement than my own.”
Maimon explains that, in parasocial relationships, you may feel an emotional investment in an individual’s personal milestones in the same way you would if it was your close friend.
“When you have deep knowledge about someone's background, especially with someone like Swift who writes a lot of music about her own relationships, fans feel like they have greater insight,” Maimon says.
She adds that celebratory news like this brings to light the psychological phenomenon known as “basking in reflected glory” (BIRGing), where individuals’ self-esteem is enhanced by associating themselves with successful individuals or groups. While the concept has mostly been studied with sports team fans, Maimon says BIRGing could be applied to parasocial relationships.
As for Taylorswiftstyled’s commenters, they were already riding on the hype: “We grew up with her!! Now getting to watch her fairytale ending unfold, with a man that celebrates her so fiercely is making my lil heart explode,” noted one user to while another commented, “This is also such a positive affirmation for all us girls who’ve been told we’re too much and our expectations are too high to NEVER, EVER SETTLE.”
Helping people find community
Beyond boosting self-esteem, parasocial relationships can help shape how fans see themselves — influencing their identity and sense of belonging. For instance, self-concept refers to how a person views him or herself. These can be traits or beliefs (think: ‘I’m a kind friend’ or ‘I’m a loving partner’) but can also include things a person likes.
“Being a fan of a particular music artist might be important to how you see yourself,” notes Maimon. “A big part of your day-to-day life might include listening to their music or watching interviews that they do. Everybody's self-concept is going to look a little different, but those things can be integrated into how we see and describe ourselves to others.”
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A beneficial part of being a fan is that there is a sense of community, and you may feel part of something that is bigger than yourself. Often, online fan groups give individuals opportunities to connect with others, which is good for wellbeing. While these connections can be uplifting, they also serve another purpose — offering a form of escape from everyday life.
“If your day-to-day is monotonous, or you don't have friends in your life who are hitting exciting milestones, but a celebrity you know is, it gives you something that might be missing in your life,” Maimon says.
Parasocial relationships’ pressure
But the dynamic isn’t one-sided. While fans may benefit emotionally, celebrities often bear the weight of these intense connections.
Maimon explains that people can take their adoration of celebrities too far and, in Swift’s case, restraining orders have had to be put in place. In September of this year, she won a five-year restraining order against an alleged stalker who visited her home three times and allegedly attempted to redirect mail from her home and told her that she was the mother of his child, according to the Los Angeles Times.
She adds that there’s massive pressure on celebrities to be role models for tons of people and constantly feel like you’re under a microscope.
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On the fans’ side, parasocial relationships may influence their perspectives on things.
“If there's a celebrity you love and they're very philanthropic, maybe you decide to be philanthropic, but if they engage in an unhealthy behavior that they're modeling for their fans, their fans may be more likely to adopt those behaviors as well,” Maimon says, emphasizing that this is something people should be mindful of.
Sharing in the excitement
As Swift’s engagement continues to spark joy across social media, it’s clear that parasocial relationships, while one-sided, can offer real emotional resonance. Whether it’s through shared excitement, a sense of belonging, or a boost in self-esteem, these connections reflect how deeply media and identity intertwine in modern life.
“In general, people love weddings, and I’m sure a lot of people will be excited to see what she is going to pick for her dress and for all the other milestones that follow something like an engagement,” she says.
For fans, it’s not just about watching a celebrity’s love story unfold; it’s about feeling part of it. And that, perhaps, is the most powerful part of the parasocial experience.